Entry tags:
week 3; someone get this kid a punching bag.
[they fucked up. they fucked up so bad, and noctis knows...
well, he's partially responsible this time.
it's a heavy, weighted sickening feeling. what the hell kind of prince—kind of king can he be? he didn't save anyone back home; not his family, nor his betrothed, not even his friends could escape getting wounded at his hand. and then this place comes along, and the carnage is so raw. people close to his friends—
people who are innocent.
how many more people are going to get hurt or killed while he's like this, helpless to defend them?
it all starts to spill over. it's been weeks upon weeks of loss and pain, and while he's kept so much of that muted to try and do a better job—so he could go home to eos and save everyone there from the troubles that come with a certain empire STEALING!!! THE CRYSTAL!!!! but he's not fully equipped for this, and without the chocobros there to give him some sense of reason, he loses his cool. that's why he bolts from the building the moment he's able to. and he makes it a bit away, to another nearby building before.]
Dammit, why!? [he's yelling it to no one as he just... slams his fist into the building. which hurts like fucking hell, because noctis is definitely not strong enough to defeat a load-bearing wall. that's. probably going to bruise later, honestly.]
well, he's partially responsible this time.
it's a heavy, weighted sickening feeling. what the hell kind of prince—kind of king can he be? he didn't save anyone back home; not his family, nor his betrothed, not even his friends could escape getting wounded at his hand. and then this place comes along, and the carnage is so raw. people close to his friends—
people who are innocent.
how many more people are going to get hurt or killed while he's like this, helpless to defend them?
it all starts to spill over. it's been weeks upon weeks of loss and pain, and while he's kept so much of that muted to try and do a better job—so he could go home to eos and save everyone there from the troubles that come with a certain empire STEALING!!! THE CRYSTAL!!!! but he's not fully equipped for this, and without the chocobros there to give him some sense of reason, he loses his cool. that's why he bolts from the building the moment he's able to. and he makes it a bit away, to another nearby building before.]
Dammit, why!? [he's yelling it to no one as he just... slams his fist into the building. which hurts like fucking hell, because noctis is definitely not strong enough to defeat a load-bearing wall. that's. probably going to bruise later, honestly.]

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[he can't deny that much; even if Barnham would give his life willingly in the defense of his city or innocents, he can't blame people for not being willing to make that same sacrifice. He became a knight solely because he was prepared for that fate, should it ever come.]
There is little room for mercy in this game, which, I believe...is all the more reason we must remember to hold to our mercy, and our empathy.
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[he wants to have at least that much faith in himself.]
If I haven't snapped by now, I think I can handle it. [with how badly this entire week went, the closest he came to losing it was punching a wall.
which really... isn't all that bad.
all things considered.]
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[Except that the pressure is going to get worse and worse as they go.
Welp. IT'S PROBABLY FINE.]
Keeping your head held high... is the best that can be done at a time like this. They shall not break you.
[It's a good thing--he's proud.]
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...which is not to say he wouldn't ever end a life at all, but he wouldn't do it just because of this game, and it would have to be truly deserved and justified.
(you know, like some smarmy ass guy responsible for ruining his entire life? fuck ardyn izunia with a piping hot dildo, etc.)]
Yeah. I'll do my best. But... you gotta do the same too.