elemancy | week 5; bounty mourning

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week 5; bounty mourning

[in all honestly, noctis isn't sure why he finds himself in front of milla's door.

maybe it's because he knows there's nobody else. sara is in a jail cell, and they've already spoken—but part of his struggles come because of that face. barnham is a mess, because sara of all people was the one to kill russell. and percy is likely reeling too from discovering who annabeth's killer is.

but milla is—honestly one of the smartest, stable and most reliable people he knows. and with their newfound alliance thanks to their bounty roles, she's... someone better to confide in. someone who'll know better than most how hard losing sara is not just because of personal feelings, but because of the importance of her role in the game. what now? where will they go from there? he's... really not entirely sure.

it's tired, he's definitely shed more tears than he cares to admit, and there's a verge of being slightly unhinged that sits in his chest, threatening to find a way to the surface. he needs something, anything.

so it's milla's door he's knocking on, somewhat listlessly. just for a little while, he needs the company of someone a little stronger than him, because he can't help barnham if he doesn't pick himself up a little too.]

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Thanks.

[he'll give her a grateful nod as he steps in; it's comedic that he's not all that different than jude right now, even though he should be...

well, so much more like milla.

he's been working on it, and he'll find a way to keep going after this night is through. but tonight he just needs to be around someone, a friend, an ally—whatever it is they may be.]

Now's... just a bad time to be alone. Or with a pissed off robot. [and besides:] We have to stick together anyway.

[so much more like Milla, he says, when she's struggling quite a bit herself. either way, she closes the door behind him and moves back towards her bed, where she takes a seat on the very edge. Noctis will notice the room is decorated in artwork: the roasted potatoes Higekiri drew for Milla, the paper birds he gave to Yuna, and the portrait of Yuna Ezio did from beyond the grave. it's colorful! except the potatoes, which are in black and white]

It's more important now than ever for us to stick together. For the members of our group to continue trusting in each other, regardless of what happens.

After all, dealing with both shaken trust and-- [she pauses, scrunching her face together awkwardly] . . . heartbreak, would be extremely difficult.

[his eyes catch what decorates the room—it definitely adds a bit of life and personality that his own room lacks. but maybe that's too be expected, when the room was shared by milla and yuna; they were people well-loved and very memorable. it only makes sense in that regard—he knows he lacks that kind of charisma himself and his roommate is...

well. ash.

regardless, his attention shifts back to milla, and he gives her a nod.]

Yeah. I mean... right now, we're all we have. If we're going to end this game and... save everyone—

[and of course, he means everyone, not just who remains alive, or who died while being completely innocent. noctis absolutely means every life that was taken, because they're all unfair.]

We have to trust each other now. More than anything else. [and he's hoping with everything in him that he can. he's been honest with them in the hopes that they'd remain on the same page—he wants to believe everyone in their group is fighting for this cause justly too.

(even if justice is a myth in this place, even if he's given up on justice in a general sense as it currently stands.)]

Everyone.

[she also emphasizes that word, just to show that she's on the same page as Noctis. it's why she's placed her faith in Damian in the first place, after all. because she believes that he'd use his victory reward to send everyone home]

With how our numbers have dwindled so much-- [and that pains her, because she didn't want there to be this many casualties, she wanted to end this game before so many had died] -- I fear that it's likely someone in our group will be called on to kill, either as a Bandit or as a Bounty disposing of non-cooperative Bandits.

[her expression hardens]

We need to come up with a plan between us all to account for that situation.

Yeah. I know... we'll probably try to figure something out when we all meet up again.

[which is honestly why noct hasn't been thinking too hard on that. it's something they need to decide collectively, because if they start to betray each other...

they'll fail.

and they can't afford to fail.]

I know I can afford to die. I know that dying will... destroy my country, and maybe the world, too.

[there's still a lot he doesn't know about why some things are happening as they are, but it's not like he's blind to the state of things in general sense, that there are threats looming in a rather horrifying way there.]

But I can promise that I don't plan on killing anyone to get back there. Not unless we agree to it, not unless it's the only choice.

[which also serves as a subtle way of saying that he'd be willing to give his own life if it meant protecting the others. he's realizing, slowly, that as much as he wants to live, and go home to be a good king—

he may have to give his life here for the greater good and the promise that maybe they can turn things back around.]

[ah. . .]

Noctis. You're a prince, aren't you?

[they hadn't really talked about that personally between them, but Percy had let the secret slip during one of their meetings. she had tucked the information away in the back of her brain, but suddenly, it seems very important to bring back into the spotlight]

You can't be so willing to throw away your life with the knowledge that it might destroy your country and your world. If you have such an important reason to live, then you should fight for your life with everything you have.

[after all, that's the decision she's made for herself]

I know that.

[it almost sounds like he's snapping—and really, it's just the emotional weight of the situation. he's heard it so many times, what is role and duty are that sometimes that weight on his shoulders is like a crushing boulder.

but he dials that back after a moment; this isn't milla's fault and he's not trying to take it out on her.]

I'm not planning on throwing it away. But I'm not going to kill someone innocent, and I'm not going to betray anyone, either.

[he's pretty steadfast in that much.] I... trust the rest of you to get this done, though. So if it ends up like that—

I'm willing to.

[that's all he really means. if it's going to save everyone else, especially the people that he knows and believes in to actually fix the messes that have been made? then... it's worth it. ]

[there's silence on Milla's end, although she doesn't tear her gaze away from Noctis. her expression is even, neutral, not a flicker of emotion giving away her thoughts. she can hear the determination in his voice, see it in his demeanor. while she is a woman driven by duty, perhaps. . .]

[perhaps he is driven by something else entirely]

[she finally looks away, head dropping as her eyes flicker to her lap]

. . . I'd very much like for you to remain alive. Perhaps for somewhat. . . selfish reasons.

[she's already lost Yuna, and tomorrow she'll lose Sara. she doesn't want her group of friends to keep getting smaller like this]

But at the same time, I'm honored you'd put your trust in us like this. And I know that I can't tell someone to ignore the deepest desires of their own heart.

Believe me—I want to stay alive too. More than most things.

[he's at least willing to waver on that. dying still scares the shit out of him, because if they fail, if they fuck up? that's the end of the road. it seems terrible and painful and lonely in a lot of ways.

he doesn't want to die.

but he's willing to, if that's what will save everyone else. because at the end of the day... he's still a prince.

a king.

really, he's a king, even if it's a role that he hasn't been able to fully embrace or accept yet, especially without the ability to have a proper coronation or anything of the sort.]

Whatever happens... I'm still keeping my trust there. It's all we've got left.

. . .

[she's silent for another long moment, but lifts her head again to speak next]

I suppose I can understand where you're coming from.

[she can. as much as she's encouraging him to fight for his life, she really does get it. and there's a reason for that]

I've died once before myself.

[well, that gives him pause and a whole lot of it. he's not sure why, but hearing news like that is somehow heavy in a way he didn't expect—

enough that he looks at milla with wide eyes, breath catching in his throat slightly.

maybe because someone like milla should never die, especially not if she's the lord of spirits, as she claims.

(which, of course, he believes.)]

You've—

[milla, explain!?]

[SHE WILL EXPLAIN DON'T WORRY]

. . . it's a rather long story, actually. I'll give you the important details, but if there's anything else you'd like to ask you're free to do so.

[Noctis is person number three to get a little more about her backstory from her. the first human, too]

I am Maxwell, the Lord of Spirits, but my origins are very different from that of normal spirits. My predecessor-- the previous Maxwell-- created me and gave me a human form in order to use me to draw out his enemies. He implanted memories within me to make me believe I was the true Maxwell, and sent the Four Great Spirits of our world to stay at my side and raise me as the same.

[closes her eyes, but continues speaking]

The enemies he was attempting to draw out were members of the group known as Exodus. This group was comprised of people from the world known as Elympios, which was formerly a part of the world Maxwell oversaw-- Rieze Maxia. The barrier separating the two worlds from each other was known as the Schism, and one of the ways to dispel the Schism was for Maxwell to give up his life.

[she doesn't get into why the worlds were separated or why the Schism was created in the first place, but he can ask about that later if he wishes]

Despite the false memories, I took my duty as the protector of humans and spirits alike very seriously. I chased after Exodus, eliminated its members, and acted within the best interests of those on the world of Rieze Maxia.

However. . . there came a point in time where I realized the dual-world system could not be maintained. There came a time where I realized the Schism needed to be destroyed, both to stop Exodus and protect the humans on both Rieze Maxia and Elympios. Around that same time, my traveling companions and I were caught in a trap when we attempted to destroy a dangerous Spyrix device. The trap could have been dispelled if everyone gave up their mana to do so, but. . .

[. . .]

There was a high chance my traveling companions would have died. So. . . in order to save them, and believing that it was necessary for me to die to dispel the Schism and unite Elympios with Rieze Maxia, I gave up every once of mana in my human body. . . and forfeited my life in the process.

Edited 2017-02-20 03:41 (UTC)

[he listens to her every word, eyes trained on her as she speaks and nodding along. it's a lot to take in—terms like "schism" and "exodus" are so unfamiliar to him that hearing all the jargon at once is, in fact, a bit head-spinning.

but he follows what she's saying, and he understands it better than ever thought he would—her sentiment, that is.]

Milla...

[at first, all that escapes his mouth is her name once she's finished telling her story. mostly because he actually does need a minute to really process it completely.

but when he does? there's a faint smile that tugs at his lips.

?]

That... really sounds just like you to do.

[which probably sounds kind of funny coming from noctis, considering he basically just confessed that he would do the same thing. which is a new revelation for him—so maybe that's why he can look at that, listen to her words and realize that it's so distinctly milla that somehow, a sacrifice almost has a morbidly endearing quality to it.

that's just the kind of person—or spirit, he guesses—that she is.]

Protecting humans and spirits... you must really want to be able to do that, huh. [it's admirable, honestly.]

It's my duty.

[she says with a knowing smile]

It isn't the duty I was given when I was created, but it's the duty I forged for myself. It's the path I chose to walk in my life, based on my love for humans and spirits alike. It's why I became the true Maxwell when my predecessor gave his life to finally destroy the Schism.

[tilts her chin up, a spark of conviction burning in her eyes]

I'm proud of the choices I've made, each and every one of them.

Can't argue that you shouldn't be. Not everyone can do that... be able to make that choice without hesitating.

[like himself, for example. and his expression contorts slightly thinking about that—he might have come quite a ways from where he was, but finding that kind of resolve—it really isn't easy.

so he thinks it's admirable; milla is pretty fearless, he's learned. and noctis knows he'll never be quite like that, but other people he's known in his life that were? he's always admired them, too.]

[she forgot to mention that she was brought back to life after dying BUT YOU KNOW she's. at least. implying it]

That's why I can understand your preference of giving up your own life to taking another's. [and she swings back around to the game again] Sometimes, our hearts lead us to those sorts of sacrifices.

But they aren't to be taken lightly.

[even the one she made had been a heavy decision to make]

I know. Think of it as... a last resort. If we don't have any better choices.

[he understands milla's concern, he really does. and he still admires the fact that she understands it for her own noble causes.

he sighs quietly, reiterating what he said earlier.]

I don't want to die if I can help it. I... want to see this through to the end, with you and everyone else.

[but if the way he can best help is by being their sacrifice, then he'll do it.]

[just. smiles]

Then we'll have to make sure we end this game before you're called upon to make that sacrifice. Right?

Might be easier said than done, but... yeah.

[that's what they want to do, ideally. he knows that too.]

One thing at a time, right? Trying to get there without either one of us dying... would be better.

[she's already been through that once too, and he's not going to forget that.]

[she nods, and even if it is easier said than done, her determination is obvious. it always has been. even now, it hasn't wavered]

Noctis. . .

[a pause]

Can you tell me a little bit about your home? Your country? Your world? I'd like to learn a little more about you in return.

[for having told him her backstory, she means]

Oh, uh... yeah.

[he nods his head, offering a faint smile. he's told a few people things here and there—and it's clear that he's really not used to talking about himself that way even as he speaks.

and maybe that's only natural; he's royalty, after all. in his world, everyone knows his life story already.]

My life... really wasn't all that interesting for most of it. My dad—he was the king of Lucis. But I just went to school, had part-time jobs, started learning about what I needed to do. Lucis... protects a Crystal that's important to our world. There's another empire, Niflheim, and they... were always trying to get it from us.

Like, hundreds of year of war, but not that long before this all happened... the Niffs wanted to make some kind of peace treaty. If I married the Oracle, Lady Lunafreya, they'd ceasefire.

[he pauses; mentioning that name is a bit tough for him.] I... was kind of surprised, but Luna's... I missed her too. We only got to keep in touch with letters, but I know... she was probably thrilled, knowing her.

[they'd always gotten along, after all.] It was all crap, though. My dad—he sent me and my friends (and his protectors, of course) away knowing the Niffs were going to attack. They killed him, betrayed by one of his own, destroyed the Crown City... and then they came for me and Luna, too.

...I barely even got to see her once he would finally meet up again. [his head dips a bit.] Ignis... ended up like Shinnosuke and there's a whole mess left back there I need to clean up. For them, for my dad, for Luna... to get the Crystal back and make sure Lucis is safe.

[so basically, while milla had found a lot of her answers and resolved so much of what she needed to... noct hasn't. he's been on a journey to find himself, to figure out his place as the new king, to avenge the deaths of his father and his betrothed. it's hard for him to talk about, because his life hasn't been easy and he's definitely not as confident and assured in who he is as milla.

milla is strong and admirable, and while noct may be getting better at finding that, he's still very much so also pretty shy and not secure in his own abilities.]

[so. . . that's why he mentioned that his death could bring about the downfall of his country. of his world. that sort of conflict. . . she can't help but think to herself that it's so quintessentially human]

I'm sorry. About your father, and your friends. It's one thing I've noticed about humans-- they are often willing to go to extreme lengths for the sake of achieving power.

[she's assuming that's why the conflict over the Crystal is taking place, anyway]

[he lost a lot in niflheim's quest for power. his father, his home, luna—not to mention what happened to ignis and how it's affected everything else in his life.

holding it together hasn't been easy in the least; even talking about it now on a night where they're experiencing other measures of loss and betrayal make it somewhat difficult for noctis to hold his composure completely.

so for a moment, he's quiet as he listens to what milla has to say. she's not wrong.]

...Stupid, isn't it? Making a mess like that just to be stronger.

Mmmn. It is. But. . .

[and this is where Milla makes her adoration for humanity very clear, because despite knowing the inherent flaws to the human race, she is still capable of saying:]

But those types of humans are balanced out, aren't they? By humans like you. [like Jude] Humans who attempt to better themselves and the world around them, for the sake of everyone.

Not sure I can really be counted as one of them when I haven't really done anything.

[but it's true that he wants to better the situation around them, both here and in his world.]

Dealing with people like that at all, though, it's a pain. Innocent people are always the one that lose because of it. [humanity is definitely flawed, and while he's fine with being one, milla's admiration of them is something that's a little bit beyond him.]

I guess it might be different for you, though.

[her mouth twitches a bit]

I've always been more of an outside observer. Even when I had a human body at home, before I became the new Lord of Spirits, I was cared for in a hut an hour away from the nearest village by fellow spirits. I spent most of my time meditating and reading books.

[which explains her love of reading, honestly]

When one observes humanity from an outside perspective, they learn to view it in a completely different way.

Yeah. When you put it that way... makes enough sense. Not really sure I'd ever be able to understand it that way.

[but of course, noct has also always been entrenched in the pits of humanity. he's seen some of the best of it, but he's also lived through some of the worst, too.]

Not... uh, that it's a bad thing. You have to look over... spirits too, right?

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week 5; bounty mourning

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