week 5; he hates this the most

[he upset.

he's the most upset he's been in the entire time since they showed up in this hellhole—and even though he's furious with her, furious with the sheriff, and furious about everything...

he's sad, too. he's sad, because this is incredibly senseless in every way. sara didn't deserve any of this. not being a bandit, not being threatened, not having to kill anyone and not sending herself to death by breaking the rules. it should've been him, instead, he thinks.

she's so much more important right now. in every way, sara's place in this game is so much more than his own, and he would have laid his life down for it because he knows the stakes are that high. of course, it's too late for that, and he knows now more than ever he has to keep living—because living and being able to help the rest of the game is the only way to save her, too.

so when he finally shuffles to her jail cell—it's pretty late. he waits until he knows it's quiet, when nobody is going to interrupt and when he's cooled his head at least a little.

(though not very much, and it's obvious he's been crying at least a bit.)

but he'll just plop on the ground in front of her cell, and unlike at the trial, he's looking her right in the eyes. he has things to say, things to ask, but all he starts with is:]

I wish I'd known sooner.

week 5; i don't even know what to title this

[really, all that needs to be said is that when noct finally returns to the room—quite a bit later than usual—he's also slamming the door behind him with enough frustrated gusto.

hi, roomie?

no, this is probably bad for everyone because it's clear that he is completely out of sorts. which is probably like, some sort of stupid, weird turn-on for ash, but noctis doesn't really have many fucks to give at the moment.

he needs to find a way to end this stupid, fucked up game and if he has to try and drag out whatever ash knows to get there? he's gonna do it. that's how he feels right now.]

week 5; bounty mourning

[in all honestly, noctis isn't sure why he finds himself in front of milla's door.

maybe it's because he knows there's nobody else. sara is in a jail cell, and they've already spoken—but part of his struggles come because of that face. barnham is a mess, because sara of all people was the one to kill russell. and percy is likely reeling too from discovering who annabeth's killer is.

but milla is—honestly one of the smartest, stable and most reliable people he knows. and with their newfound alliance thanks to their bounty roles, she's... someone better to confide in. someone who'll know better than most how hard losing sara is not just because of personal feelings, but because of the importance of her role in the game. what now? where will they go from there? he's... really not entirely sure.

it's tired, he's definitely shed more tears than he cares to admit, and there's a verge of being slightly unhinged that sits in his chest, threatening to find a way to the surface. he needs something, anything.

so it's milla's door he's knocking on, somewhat listlessly. just for a little while, he needs the company of someone a little stronger than him, because he can't help barnham if he doesn't pick himself up a little too.]