elemancy | week 5; he hates this the most

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week 5; he hates this the most

[he upset.

he's the most upset he's been in the entire time since they showed up in this hellhole—and even though he's furious with her, furious with the sheriff, and furious about everything...

he's sad, too. he's sad, because this is incredibly senseless in every way. sara didn't deserve any of this. not being a bandit, not being threatened, not having to kill anyone and not sending herself to death by breaking the rules. it should've been him, instead, he thinks.

she's so much more important right now. in every way, sara's place in this game is so much more than his own, and he would have laid his life down for it because he knows the stakes are that high. of course, it's too late for that, and he knows now more than ever he has to keep living—because living and being able to help the rest of the game is the only way to save her, too.

so when he finally shuffles to her jail cell—it's pretty late. he waits until he knows it's quiet, when nobody is going to interrupt and when he's cooled his head at least a little.

(though not very much, and it's obvious he's been crying at least a bit.)

but he'll just plop on the ground in front of her cell, and unlike at the trial, he's looking her right in the eyes. he has things to say, things to ask, but all he starts with is:]

I wish I'd known sooner.

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... About?

[ She'll start there, and it's obvious from the bleary way she blinks at him that Sara hasn't so much as dozed off. She likely won't sleep at all, not when it's her last night and there's so much she still needs to think about.

Even if she doesn't want to think about it any longer. Not right now. ]

[he just looks at her dead in the eyes, unblinking.]

Madame.

[ ... Ah.

Sara doesn't really look all that surprised-- if anything, the statement seems to press down on her shoulders a little more. ]

You're... a Bounty, right? I think that's what it was.

[he draws in a breath, uneven. he hates this more than anything. he remembers the reason she gave for why she did it, but even still—]

I would have... I would have let you.

[kill him, and even he can hardly believe he's saying that. but this is a cause he's willing to sacrifice him for.]

Didn't you think of how much more is at risk now? How many others— How much we need you right now?

[but it's not just that. it's the fact that if the wrong person wins this game, they're all going to die. and if they die with no hope of revival, how many other worlds will perish because they're not there to save them?]

... [ Sara's eyebrows abruptly snap together, and she shakes her head. Because she gets it, the sacrifice for the greater good, but at this exact moment, she doesn't want to think about that. Not Noct. Never Noct. ]

Don't-- [ and her voice breaks a little more, before Sara takes a deep breath and shoves her palm into her hair.

Another breath. ]

There was a lot I didn't know until just recently. If it had been sooner...

[ But. Well. She's going to die tomorrow, and there's nothing she can do to change that now. ]

[he would have been willing, no matter the cost. even if there's so much to be done, even if he's not supposed to give his life up—for this, he would have. he knows she doesn't want to hear it, but...

it's the truth. it makes his chest hurt to think that one of their hopes is a fading light. they didn't act fast enough. why didn't they figure this out sooner? why hadn't—at least—the ones who knew have spoken up?

could they have stopped this somehow?]

...You'd have helped us. Right?

[to look into the ones they were seeking out? to try and fill in the blanks that they're coming up short with. there are are so many things that are going to be even harder without sara's presence.

...they lost yuna already. what kind of bullshit fate was it to lose both their saloon roles in a single turnaround?]

Dammit. Dammit...

[this is so hard. this is impossibly hard, because she's not just a critical role to this game, she's his friend. none of this is fair—so his gaze shifts away. if he looks at her, he might cry. which is not what she needs from him right now at all.]

Of course I'd've helped.

... I'll still try to help, but I can't promise a whole lot. But I know I just made things ten times harder for you.

[ Something she'd realized, too little, too late. Still, if there's anything to be done where she's going, Sara will do it. But the frustration is there, and it's present when she takes a shaky breath-- but she can't let herself crumble now, not when Noct's already this morose. ]

I'm sorry, [ she says instead. ] For putting you through this.

[he doesn't seem to acknowledge the apology—and it's not because he doesn't accept it, or that he doesn't understand.

it just hurts.

it hurts a lot, because he can't stand the feeling of loss. and he can't stand it even more when it was preventable—or when he's helpless to do anything about when he knows what's coming. there are probably people more broken up about it, but noct is at the end of his rope. with how much he was suffering before this place had even come into place, losing more friends and trusted allies is....

too much to bear, honestly.]

Tell... tell me what you can. Anything. Everything. [whether it's about the roles and her findings or anything else. he just... wants to hear whatever it is she has to say right now.]

There's not much, if anything, that you don't already know.

[ Sara honestly feels like she's talked too much today-- but if Noct's requesting that of her, she'll comply. ]

I know who your Bounty Leader is, and I knew before Ash said it that he knew all of the roles without having one of his own because he learned it from the Sheriff's computer. I know Milla's a Bounty. I know Percy and Jason are helping. I was trying to investigate the people who were put into stocks every week, to see what connection I could pick up, but... well. Annabeth, Simon, and Russell didn't have roles, and that was before I knew the Deputy role existed. I don't know who they are, though.

Aaaand I know that Hal's employers have names I can't pronounce because they're not human and not even all that sentient. They exist outside of time and space and they do this kind of game once a year to keep from getting bored and something about things being 'off' is blood's not 'spilled appropriately in ways they desire' or something like that. This game is only here to sate them.

Also when it ends, we may or may not remember it.

Also Barnham's actually a pretty amazing kisser.

[ well, he said anything. ]

There are things there I didn't know. So... thanks. I'll... uh. Remember that last one too.

[not that there's any practical use for it except for good fucking god mom and dad have been kissing and now he's probably going to have to execute her.

yeah, he'll try to keep that part out of his mind.

instead, he takes a moment to absorb that information; he's pretty sure that not all the bounties know all of that stuff, anyway. it's good, helpful information, and he's grateful that she's telling him, even if it's too late for what needs to be done and who they've still wanted to investigate.

but it's too hard to dwell on that, so instead:]

I'll... look after him. [barnham, he means.

he's not sure what else he could say. what else he could say. he's upset. there's so much he never really told her about himself, and so much he never got to learn about her, either.

he took it for granted, didn't he? that somehow, someone like her would be smart and strong and survive without giving in.]

[ She hadn't wanted to give in. But Sara wasn't the same little girl who'd fought only for money to send back home. There were people she cared about, a duty as a bracer to every single civilian, and the instant Hal had said that, she'd known in the end... she wouldn't have a choice in the matter.

And that there was no way she'd be able to stay quiet about it. ]

Thanks. [ It's one of the things she was most concerned about, after all, but she closes her eyes with a grateful smile. ]

Take care of yourself, too. I'll try and keep in touch, but I can't promise a whole lot.

[ Will they ever get the chance to just sit and talk about other things again? She's not sure. ]

[he makes a bit of a noncommittal noise, but he doesn't seem to move to leave just yet.]

Do... you mind if I stay a bit longer?

[at least he'll ask first.]

Stay as long as you want. [ Really, she doesn't mind. She's probably not going to sleep, after all. ]

I'm not going anywhere.

Thanks.

[he'll admit, even if a bit sheepishly.]

Guess I just want to make up a little for time wasted.

If you want, I can give you a month's worth of hair ruffling to get you through the next while.

Think I'll pass on that. It's already enough of the mess.

[but.]

Mind... telling me more about you? Or... where you're from? [he wants to remember her properly.]

... [ She's already told this to one person, but that was only one person and Sara's the type not to talk about certain things unless they suddenly show up right in front of her and she has to beat them up.

But, well. She trusts Noct, and it's true that they know very little about where they came from. ]

I was born in North Ambria, which happens to be a pretty small country with not a lot of income, other than a jaeger corps that took on jobs and sent the money back home. Think mercenaries, pretty much. I was drafted into that corps when I was still a little girl, and I didn't get out of it until six years ago when someone saved my life on the battlefield.

[ A pause... ah, Beatrix, the sweet and terrifying angel. ]

After that, I became a bracer, which is a neutral party focused on protecting civilians and helping maintain the peace. When my guild was shut down, I was roped into becoming the teacher for an experimental class at Thors Military Academy-- Class VII, the first class to be filled with commoners and nobles, kids from all different backgrounds.

... You could say a lot happened after that.

[he's quiet as she speaks, letting his eyes fall closed as she explains everything to him. obviously, none of it is familiar—locations and terms, none of it rings a bell.

but this is sara's life, and he want to make sure he remembers the things she tells him about it.]

...Guess that explains why you didn't seem like much of a teacher in a lot of ways. [it's a dry joke, existing almost solely to dissipate some of the tension.

in some ways, she wasn't. but the way she looked out for others, and her obvious guilt over bloodying her hands to kill a child—she's more of a teacher than even she may realize.

but even still...]

Thanks. [for telling him. he won't pry that deep, he won't ask what she means by "a lot happened" if she isn't going to offer it freely. he'll listen if she's got more to say, or just chat with her in turn—whatever.]

In return-- [ And Sara flaps a hand, as though none of what she said was really all that important (even though it was, to her). ]

You can tell me about yourself, too.

Guess I left you with some unanswered stuff, too.

[since he never did explain... why he knows how to use so many weapons. but very few people know the truth—the other bounties do, because it came up, and a couple of other people, but that was all.]

I'm... from a place called Insomnia. The capital of Lucis— [oh hay, sound familiar, because it's in his name?] My country.

My dad was the king of Lucis. Before he died. We.... were at war with another empire, Niflheim. They were supposed to make a dead for peace, and my dad sent me off to marry someone from Niflheim. Lady Lunafreya, our world's Oracle. I hadn't seen her in twelve years, but...

[he'd wanted to.] Umbra is Luna's dog, he used to travel between us so we could keep in touch.

[she was important. but he doesn't say she's even gone, instead:] It was all bullshit. After I left Insomnia, the Niffs attacked, killed my dad, and stole the Crystal our family is supposed to protect. What keeps our people safe.

[it's been a tough situation, and that's not really the whole of it.]

The Lucian bloodline—that's why I know how to use so many weapons. Usually, I can summon them and use them at will.

[what a long-winded explanation. but just as her story was important to her (no matter how sara tries to spin it), noct's is important to him too. the fact that he's royalty, that people are depending on him... that's made this whole experience that much more terrifying for him.]

[ Much like he'd listened to her in silence, Sara closes her eyes and quietly takes all of this in. She's never heard of Insomnia, or Lucis, nor does she know what an Oracle is and what sort of Crystal Noct's family protected.

But a prince, huh...? A prince who'd lost his father, which likely meant an empty throne for the time being. ]

Well, you're definitely different from the prince I know. You've definitely had it rough, though.

[ An understatement, she knows. ]

[most of it probably isn't all that important for sara to totally understand, anyway. it's more about letting her know of where he came from, of his intentions and wants—and why he's so determined to do right by everyone in this city too.]

I'm... probably not like most princes, I guess. [he knows that he's not exactly uptight and proper like most royalty is known to be. he's not the type to think of himself as above others, nor is he very refined.]

It's been tough, but... that's the way it goes, right? I just... have to keep going.

[somehow. it's hard and he's not really sure how he'll do it, or carry on.

but he's trying, and she's one of the people he doesn't want to let down.]

Neither is the prince I know. [ Honestly, for the most part, Noct is probably more like a prince than Olivert, except when Olivert gets serious. But Sara nods, mustering a smile. ]

But you'll keep going, for sure. You'll get through this, Noct.

[ Even if she won't be there. ]

Not like I have much of a choice. I'm not gonna just sit back and let things happen without at least trying.

[it would be better if she was going to be there, though. it's going to be so much tougher without her in so, so many ways.]

That much was a given! I didn't think you'd just let things pass you by, anyway.

Nah. Not really my style to just ignore something like that.

So your style's black and do-gooder.

[ Okay, Batman. ]

... Oh right, one more thing.

[well, he does have to deal with jason and damian a bunch. it's close enough.]

One... more thing? [and that would be?]

Rean Schwarzer. Alisa Reinford. Elliot Craig. Gaius Worzel. Fie Claussell. Jusis Albarea. Machias Regnitz. Emma Millstein. Laura S. Arseid. Millium Orion. Crow Armbrust.

[ There's a pause, and then Sara closes her eyes and leans back against the wall. ]

I don't think it'll make much of a difference, but...

A teacher should talk about her students at least once before she dies, right?

[he listens to each name carefully—and when he gets back to his room, it's likey he'll write them so the names aren't forgotten.]

Yeah. I think so... they're important to you, right? [isn't that how most teachers feel about their students?]

... Yeah. They've been through a lot and they're still growing, but... they're great kids.

That's what makes them students.

[that they're still learning and growing.]

Do... you want to say anything else about them? [he'll listen if she does, otherwise, he'll make sure the names aren't forgotten.]

[ She thinks about it, she really does. But she thinks if she starts talking now, about how Jusis and Machias can finally declare themselves as worthy rivals, and how Laura and Fie are like a storm together, and how Rean's finally accepted himself and Emma can trust those around her without fear of hatred and contempt and Fie finally knows what it's like to have a family that will also help her stand on her own two feet and just how much-- Crow--

She'll cry, and she's not ready for that. So, after a minute, Sara shakes her head and speaks somewhat thickly. ]

No... I think that's enough from me.

[he can understand that tone well enough, enough to know not to press that at all.]

All right.

[he shifts slightly.]

So... I guess that's it, then.

... Yeah. [ Honestly, Sara feels more tired now than she's ever felt before. ]

Thanks, Noct. You should really get some rest.

...You should too.

[he moves to stand, slowly—though he doesn't entirely want to leave. but both of them sitting in silence would definitely be too much, and he still needs to go check on barnham, too.

but what comes next is quiet, a bit heavier.]

Take care... Sara. [with wherever she goes from here, with whatever that other side holds.

he still wants things to be better for her than they have been.]

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week 5; he hates this the most

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