elemancy: (pic#10956881)
noctis "cover yourself in sombreros" lucis caelum ([personal profile] elemancy) wrote2017-02-17 11:00 pm

week 5; drowning our problems in liquor

[the walk is heavy, weighted with the morning's tragedies.

it's getting to all of them; he knows that. barnham looking two roommates in a row, and finding their bodies. noct trying to lay low and get through this alive while helping everyone else as much as possible. not that it's working, not when people he cares about keep getting hurt physically and emotionally.

he's felt all this pain before. he's felt it so much that his chest aches watching other people suffer through it. he wanted to prevent this. this is exactly what he's been trying so hard to find a way to stop this. to stop more deaths, to stop more people from suffering losses of their friends, their families, and whatever else may be in-between. it isn't fair.

life isn't fair, and he knows that but this is especially unfair in ways that he just can't comprehend.

but right now, for barnham's sake. he's trying to keep it together. he's trying to keep a hold on his emotions, but as it had once before in his life, it ends up being him holding those feelings in his chest. it's him trying to shove it down because he doesn't have a choice. he has to keep going, people need his help, even though he doesn't know if he can help them at all. he doesn't even feel like he can't help barnham, which is why the silence feels so heavy.]


So, um... [it's like before, and he knows that barnham doesn't want anything resembling his pity. even as they open the door to the saloon and head inside, all he can do is admit, weakly and with the most hollow undertone of a laugh.] Guess it's a little early for happy hour.
moraled: (Don't suck it you're supposed to blow)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-18 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
[The glance Barnham gives Noct in response to that is humorless, even if he's trying for a vague smile. It just...doesn't seem to happen. Not when he can see Russell and Yuna's bodies, and remember how brave Russell had been trying to be.

He'd been scared.

When Barnham remembers how scared Russell had admitted to, he wants to break things.

Like a coward, he'd returned to his room at curfew, and he'd allowed Russell to die. That death, at least, was firmly on his hands.

Shakily, he breathes out, and then he grabs the first alcohol he can over the counter. He'll at least pour himself a glance--and then he quirks an eyebrow at Noct.]


Do you intend to drink as well, or are you simply here to be certain I do not do anything stupid?
moraled: (rippy bits!!)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-18 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[He snorts softly at that, but pours Noct a glass nonetheless.]

Is that how it works? Well, perhaps you are right.

[Barnham's admittedly not had much cause to drink before this, though he'd join his men on occasion in the tavern. But... like this it's something completely different.

This is to cope, and it doesn't feel all that great.

Not that anything does in this hell hole, of course, but Barnham's at least critically aware that he's hardly doing himself any favors here. (Why is he even here--what is he even doing here? Is someone taking some sort of amusement from this?)]


That child... Russell. When he arrived, he had no desire to live. He did not care what happened to him, and I felt that was... concerning.

[Barnham pinches the bridge of his nose.]

... Last night, he was afraid for his life. He learned to care if he lived or died--

[... Just in time to die.

Dammit.]


He was just a child.
moraled: (how can you not trust that face with)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-18 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Noct isn't wrong, though it makes him grimace. He understands by now how this game is played, though. He gets it, because--]

'Tis one of us.

[...]

One of us who chooses who goes in the stocks. There would be no point behind the Sheriff doing do. The drama, however, of having one of our own putting us there...

[... Fuck.]

And this person plays right into it, and chooses those who cannot defend themselves.
moraled: (Don't suck it you're supposed to blow)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-19 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
... You believe a sadist, or someone who is similar to those lines, is the one placing people in the stocks.

[Someone who is doing it... to pick out the people who are already vulnerable, and making them more so.]

They must know fully well... that person is likely to die.
moraled: (Awww doggos :'()

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-19 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
It certainly is. However, what concerns me more is... perhaps, discovering a way to protect those who end up in that position.

[There's... gotta, right... this keeps happening and it sucks]
moraled: (knitting is a kind of bondage)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-19 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[That's...fair.

Honestly. And barnham is immediately shaking his head, grimacing.]


No, do not stay out after curfew. That is asking... simply to die as well.

[They all know this by now.]

I fear we are approaching this entire...situation wrongly, Young Noctis. I fear we have been all along.

[He sighs, shaking his head.]

It is a game, and we must treat it as such. If we are to protect those who are in the stocks... it must be done within the rules.
moraled: (how can you not trust that face with)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-19 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
If I had an idea, I would have long ago done something about this.

[It's said with dry, almost black humor, even as Barnham takes another drink of his own drink.

Ugh.

He has no idea, and he feels like really, he should know. But he doesn't.]
moraled: (a genuine underdog)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-19 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[... Wouldn't that be nice. Some crazy idea that could fix everything and make this all go away--

If only.

It's a shame the world doesn't really work that way, and the way Noct's head dips makes him grimace in turn. He's supposed to be someone who can come up with these ideas.

But after all of this time... he has nothing.]


I apologize...for that.

[For not meeting up to expectations.

For not having what they both need--what all of them need right now.]
moraled: (Don't suck it you're supposed to blow)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-19 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[They both suck: a story.

A fun story.

Full of joy.]


... [He sighs.]

It is knowledge that evades us. Knowledge that would allow us to finish this.
moraled: (Fucking hate Mondays - snake probably)

[personal profile] moraled 2017-02-20 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Indeed. However, for now...

[He just lifts his glass, arching his eyebrows at Noct.

TAKE A BREAK... take a breather.]


I assure you, we can and shall return to this soon.

[They need a break.]