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week 6; secrets
[there's really no bells or whistles to this one—noctis is completely shaken by the morning's events. all three deaths have gotten under his skin for different reasons—
and while there are people he knows he can go to that would probably commiserate in the same way, it's not the first place he goes. instead, it's to barnham's door he finds himself, knocking listlessly at it.]
and while there are people he knows he can go to that would probably commiserate in the same way, it's not the first place he goes. instead, it's to barnham's door he finds himself, knocking listlessly at it.]
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[That much is said quietly, in contrast to Noct's frustration. He knows it must have taken a lot of trust and faith to tell him this, and that's something that Barnham treasures.
Something that he wants to protect.
He breathes out a slow breath, and straightens further, certain and calm.]
I believe you have done what you can for those here, Young Noctis. And I shall...choose to continue to hold on to that belief, regardless of this information.
Likewise... I shall tell no one else of what I have been told here.
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[he says it quietly, almost broken. it's when his voice finally cracks and he turns away a bit—
it's getting to him.
he lost a friend today—he lost two friends, but he was decidedly closer to one, and he knows that one also trusted in him decently well too. there's mourning that comes with this whole situation, separate of his role entirely.
this is just noct trying to deal with everything—likely too much on his own, but knowing he has to carry on. he brings a hand up to his face, still shifted away slightly.]
...Sorry. [there's a lot more there—and a lot more he needs to say and thank barnham for. but he definitely needs a minute here, because he's just overwhelmed, between the deaths and the relief that barnham is still willing to believe in him...
it's a lot to handle. more than he can take, really.]
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Barnham shifts until he can crouch in front of Noct, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. He won't make him look at him when he's turned away, but that doesn't mean he doesn't give his gaze fixed firmly on Noct.]
... There is nothing to apologize for.
I swore to you that here, I would act as your Shield, and that has not changed. [regardless of role. regardless of what Noct's been doing behind the scenes (though the fact that he hasn't killed anyone is an unspeakable relief to Barnham either way).]
You have been under a large burden during this game, but you have shared that now with me. Allow me to help you bear it.
[At least emotionally... if it'll help remove that downward slant of Noct's shoulders.]
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barnham is reliable; he's strong and principled, and because of that, noct's trust in him is surprisingly unwavering. maybe he shouldn't place so much trust in someone he's only known a few weeks—but he feels like he's making the right choice here.
he nods in response to barnham's words as a result, even if he doesn't look up yet. he's still processing it all, getting a hold of his feelings, and doing his best to trying and not give barnham any reason to worry excessively. but the support helps, and after a couple of minutes, he'll speak up again.]
Guess... it wasn't fair to ask you to be my shield before you even knew why.
[but!] Just... trust me for now. That... may seem obvious about what happened today, it might not be that. And... if I stick up for someone, there's a reason for it.
[mostly, he's anticipating the wrong people being implicated here, and he hopes that barnham can truly trust in his judgment on this matter.]
I'll... talk to the others later, and see how much more we can say. [really, he wants to bring barnham into the fray, because his input could be valuable, but he can't make that promise until the others agree to it, so he doesn't suggest it quite yet.]
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I intend to.
[To trust Noct, to believe in what he says and why... well. It's difficult, because--]
My duty as Inquisitor is to find the truth. But... I do trust you. If you wish to defend someone, I shall assume you have a good reason.
[...]
That much, I can promise you.
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[he doesn't want to steer barnham wrong, after all. but he knows that there are suspicions that will point to people he truly believes in.
but of course, believing in people doesn't mean they're innocent. so he's just being up front about the possibility is all he can really do right now.]
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[He can believe in Noct, after all. If there's nothing else he's certain of, it's that Noct believes in what's right and won't allow for the wrong...whenever he can.
Whatever they can do, anyway.
The situation is trying to destroy them--
but he still believes in Noct.]
... Thank you for confiding in me, Young Noctis.
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even despite the fact that he's in a position where he may really have to do dirty work even still if it means helping what few of them remain.]
You know—
[instead, he decides to shift things slightly, something lighter—but also intended to solidify that trust.]
You don't have to be that formal with me.
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Oh?
[FORMAL IS A WAY OF LIFE, NOCT]
What would you prefer I call you, then?
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Just Noctis. Or... Noct, if you want.
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...Very well then. If that is what you would prefer--then I shall call you Noct.
[He's working on it.]
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Sounds a lot better. I'm not too into all that formality between friends.
[of course, sometimes his friends do refer to him formally, but more often than not, it's just "noct," and that's how he prefers it.]
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You know the reverse is true as well.
[You don't always have to call him by his last name...]
I do not mind if you choose to continue calling me by my last name, as it is goes with my title--but you do not have to.
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[though...]
Might have to shorten it a little. "Zacharias" is kind of a mouthful. [just like he literally never calls gladio by his full name.]
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[Everyone always is so formal with him but he doesn't really mind either way either??? Weird how that works.]
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[even if it definitely feels a bit strange to give barnham, of all people, a nickname. he's always been so formal, but....
well, it's got charm, right?]
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[There's a fond expression on his face at that, thinking of Rouge and her tavern full of misfits. They're good people despite how they act and their appearances, and honestly, from them it's an honor to be granted a nickname.
From Noct, it's different, but not in a bad way--it still feels right to settle on this.]
Should you feel comfortable with it, I am not opposed.
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Zach it is, then. [truly lazy royalty, too lazy for long ass names.]
Muuuuch better. [so much less stuffy, too. even if noct had never bothered with formalities like "mister."]
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You did not have to wait so long, if it was truly something that bothered you.
[Six weeks isn't a long time but...on the other hand, it also feels like a long time.]
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[he's been kind of busy with all this stupid murdergame shit?] Guess it's like... Now that it came up, it feels right.
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I suppose you are right.
[Well, either way--]
I believe we've come to a consensus, at least, on all matters.
[This...and what they talked about previously.]
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Yeah. I think... that probably covers everything for now. [he said the things he wanted to say, after all. he accomplished what he set out to do, as well—there's still a lot they have to face...
but noct definitely feels better having barnham on his side this way.]