elemancy | week 7; confess

[her fingers curl even more tightly around his, and she finds that in this moment, she isn't thinking about the game. isn't thinking about the fact that they're probably going to die here, sooner or later. she isn't thinking about strategies for winning, about who can or cannot be trusted, or about those who are still stuck on the train]

[underneath her fingers, she smiles, possibly a little more brilliantly than she's ever smiled in Whole Ass before (except, maybe, when Yuna called her a sister)]

Interesting. . . so this is why. . . [she's mumbling a bit to herself, but she isn't trying to muffle her voice, so he can definitely still hear her] It isn't just the action itself, but everything that goes along with it. My heart is pounding. My stomach is fluttering. My cheeks feel very hot, and I'm a bit lightheaded.

It's-- [how does she describe this? she feels happy, very happy, but that doesn't seem like enough] -- breathtaking. Oh, but in a good way.

[when she smiles that way—it actually does make noct forget about the other things for a moment.

the exhaustion and melancholy that's been lining his features for a while now seems to dissipate a little. now he knows for sure that there isn't any reason to regret this, that these feelings he's been harboring and pushing away—he's right to have chased them.]

...Was kind of expecting a flat rejection.

[he can tease a bit too, it seems. but mostly because... it's the first time in a while he's had something to be happy about, even if he's already more than aware that they can never really be together.

but noctis reaches for her other hand again, smiling at her.]

But you're always surprising. [he'll add:] In a good way.

[she lets him take her hand again]

That's something I'll take as a compliment, of course.

[her surprise is fading, and he can see that patented Maxwell confidence returning to her expression]

And you're quite welcome to do it again, if you wish.

[that confidence is definitely motivating—she encourages him so wholly that it's a lot harder for him to feel even half as nervous about it.

she's okay with it, and even if it's only for this brief period of time, noctis realizes he wants to be with milla as much as he can.

(and that includes more of this.)]

Generous. The Lord of Spirits is benevolent in more ways than one. [he's teasing lightly, smiling more than he thinks he has in a while—outside of the few times he goofed off in bounty meetings, but this is definitely a bit different.

but he's not going to turn down her offer, instead leaning in to kiss her once more. it's more pronounced this time, a little more confident in action and not nearly as brief. he holds to her hands, shifting a bit to lace their fingers together before he draws back again.

...though this time, he keeps his face much closer to milla's, not very willing to pull back completely.]

[the moment might be short-lived (and honestly, somewhere in the back of her mind she knows it too, knows that if they make it home she'll have to return to the spirit world, where humans can't go). but it had been a long six weeks. they deserved this!!]

[this time, she leans into him in return, until their fingers are laced and their palms pressed together. when he pulls away, she chases until she's leaning her forehead against his, that smile still not leaving her lips]

[she feels so giddy. this is so strange. is this what humans feel like when they have a. . . crush?]

Hn. . .

[it's a thoughtful hum, and she keeps her voice low since they're already so close]

. . . Noctis. I have something I'd like to give you.

[it's a good feeling, however fleeting it may be. they're both aware of the duties and lives they'll have to return to if it's possible—but with all the pain they've been through in the last six weeks...

it's really only right they reward themselves by allowing themselves at least this much happiness.

it may not be love, because it's too soon for that, but this is still harmless, a crush that's been worth chasing, and the fact that milla is chasing it too is a strange sort of relief for noct. so he embraces her actions, keeping their fingers laced for now and enjoying the way her forehead is pressed to his in this moment.]

...Something to give me? [that... is unexpected, but not unwelcome, though it's clear he's curious about it.]

Yes. A moment, if you will.

[she's forced to untangle herself from him, which is apparently a lot more difficult than it should be, if the way her hands linger in his even as she pulls away is any indication. but eventually she lets go and steps towards her bed to reach underneath her pillow. she pulls out a strange device (sans the crystal figure, which is missing)]

This is an aspyrixis. It's the item I had on my person when I first arrived here. When I was injured so badly I couldn't walk, this device restored to me the use of my legs.

[she takes another step towards him and reaches for his wrist. should he give it to her, she'll place the object in his palm and close his fingers around it]

It holds no intrinsic value, but for me, it's a reminder that I must always pick myself up and hold my head high. Even when I suffer setback after setback.

Please, take it. As a memento.

[he doesn't really want her to untangle herself from him either, but he'll allow it because it only has to be for this moment—he's curious to know what this is...

until she hands it to him and she explains the meaning of the aspyrixis. this... was what allowed her to walk again.]

Milla... [he looks to her, clearly surprised as he processes that before his gaz falls upon the small device that now rests in his hand. maybe it has no intrinsic value like she says, but something that holds that much sentimental value...

that's not small decision to make.]

I'll keep it safe.

[he nods, before he's careful to tuck the item in his pocket, to indeed be kept safe. and then he reaches out for her again, with even more confidence than before, to cup her cheek in his hand.]

Something that important... I'll remember to pick myself up too with it.

Of course you will. I gave it to you because I don't doubt that.

[and she knows he has a lot of difficulties waiting for him ahead if he returns home. when he returns home. perhaps. . . if she can't be there to support him in person, her memory can do that from afar.]

[at any rate, Noctis had better brace himself for some boldness, because now she's going to tilt her head into his hand, reach out, grab him by the front of the shirt, and pull him forward so she can kiss him instead]

[he may have created a monster]

[he wishes he had something of value to give her in return, but all he's had with him from the start was umbra.

(though truthfully, it's likely he'll leave his jacket behind, because it's the closest memento he can give her in turn... but he doesn't have any fancy story to tell.)

but that can come later. or tomorrow.

for now... well, he's going to embrace the monster he's created, because milla's boldness is part of what he's always liked so much about her. how can he refuse it?

(he can't.)

instead, he'll let his hands drop to her waist resting there as he allows for this kiss. it's almost funny in a way, how quickly it can feel comfortable to do something like that once they're on the same page. it's new and thrilling, it's exciting—but it's all a good feeling.

embracing her convictions seems to have panned out pretty well for noctis too.]

[well, Milla never does anything halfway, and that includes fully exploring new sensations and feelings. her fingers flex into the fabric of his shirt as she kisses him, and her free arm snakes around the back of his neck. she wastes no time in burying her fingers into his hair either, because in case he hadn't noticed, she really likes his dumb spiky-soft hair]

[no matter what the week might bring, no matter how hard they may come crashing down, no matter if they live or if they die in the end. . . at the very least, they'll always have this]

[it's a good thing, that's what noctis thinks. her boldness and unwillingness to to half-ass things is part of what draws him to her, and it makes it a lot easier for him to meet her halfway with his shyness.

she's giving him confidence, though, encouraging with her touch. it's electrifying in a way, new and exciting, and it makes noct pretty unwilling to break away from her at all. he went with his gut on this one, and it's paid off surprisingly well.

maybe it'll be one night. maybe two or three. maybe it'll be another two weeks. there's really no telling when this all may come to an end, but he feels gratitude for her willingness to embrace it. though eventually, he may have to come up for air, a little breathless and completely unwilling to break contact otherwise.]

Kind of... wish I'd brought myself to do this sooner. [he says quietly, though not displeased. if he has any regrets—he realizes it's that he shouldn't have waffled on this so long when this is a moment that is so good.]

Hmmm. . .

[her hum in response is thoughtful, but also pleased. very pleased. even if he did want to pull away he probably couldn't, considering the grip she has on him. HE IS TRAPPED. . . a good kind of trapped, but still]

I suppose. . . ah! Waiting so long makes you the shy type. [nod nod] The character who watches and admires his beloved from the shadows, who happens to be a cool and confident woman who is as strong as she is beautiful. They get swept up in adventures together, with the woman constantly saving him from danger and death.

Until she gets mortally injured, of course, and he has to save her in the end. And then she finally reciprocates his feelings, and--

[she pauses]

[she frowns]

Ah. No. Let's leave that last part out; I never liked it, anyway. Too. . . cliche? And it made no sense. Why would the woman need to be saved by the man who has a crush on her? I would have preferred it if that particular book had ended with her sweeping him off his feet.

[IS SHE. COMPARING HIM TO A ROMANCE NOVEL PROTAGONIST yes indeed she is, why is this happening]

[she sure is doing that, and...

well, it's strangely charming, despite also being embarrassing. she's not wrong in many ways, after all—he's a shy type to a fault, and one who can't be cool and confident himself, so he looks up to those that are.

which fits milla to a t.

either way, he's still not complaining about being trapped like this. because it's milla... it doesn't feel very stifling at all. being close to her is something he's enjoying a lot, more than he realized he ever would.]

You... must really read a lot of romance stories or something, huh?

[he's embarrassed, but certainly amused as well. it seems like her, from everything he's learned up to now and her fascination with humans on the whole.

his head can't slightly to one side as his touch shifts, hands leaving her waist so they can clasp at the small of milla's back. it might be slightly more intimate this way but—well, he's not going to just remain totally static, either. milla's definitely a more adventurous type and he has to be forward in wanting to stay close, he thinks.

no regrets. she'll let him know if he crosses a line, noctis is sure of that much, at least.]

[it's a really good thing he's endeared by her weirdness, honestly. she's not gonna stop]

Oh, of course! Passionate stories of human intimacy are my favorite. I feel as though it's taught me a lot about how humans navigate relationships with each other.

[although. . . she pauses thoughtfully, and the hand curled into his shirt loosens so she can press it against her still thudding heart]

Although I suppose not even books can prepare you for. . . everything.

I... think that's pretty universal. Some things just have to be experienced.

[it's the same for him; even if he was once betrothed—he'd also been separated from luna for 12 years. they didn't have any physical contact as adults, so these feelings and the exhilaration that accompany it are all new to him.]

How does it feel? Being in the place of one of those humans in your stories, I mean.

[. . . hmmm]

[should she try to explain it in words? it's pretty difficult to do that when she isn't sure how. maybe. . . maybe it's just easier to keep the words to herself for now]

[she lifts her hand to trace the lines of his jaw and just. smiles. as though that's answer enough]

[it's a pretty good answer, in that it really doesn't leave him much room to doubt. which is why he can respond quietly, but with a light enough tone.]

Guess that's my turn to take it as a compliment.

[considering he wasn't expecting reciprocation at all.]

Well, maybe not "I guess." Pretty high compliment from a deity, for sure.

[perhaps one of the highest, considering she's not just the lord of spirits, but she's smart and beautiful and incredibly strong. his own heart is definitely racing from how thrilling it is, so noct will shift to reach up for milla's hand, guiding it over his chest so she can feel that much for herself. it could probably jump right out of his chest, in all honesty.]

As you should.

[her fingers curl against his chest, palm pressed over his rapidly beating heart, and he'll feel a slight push from the arm around his neck as she tries to draw him in for another kiss]

[enough talking, more kissing, they've only got so much time here gosh!!]

[okay, okay, he gets the hint!

it's all still a bit overwhelming, and maybe that's why he breaks to speak, but if milla wants more kisses? well...

more kisses she'll get, and it doesn't seem like noctis is very interested in holding back too much for her sake despite the smaller strides he's been taking to get there. but kissing milla is something that's fun and thrills him—which, after everything in the last few weeks, is nothing short of a miracle.

she'll have to be the one to initiate the break for air this time, because her encouragements do seem to push noctis in the right direction.]

week 7; confess

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