![[sticky entry]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
robowest
( Omnia dividit, tragoedia coram, amandum quae )Entry tags:
Entry tags:
asw/shitposts/edits masterpost
because everyone in robowest is a star for the level of edits and shitposts and asws that exist
( shit shit shit shitpost )
( shit shit shit shitpost )week 7; letter (percy)
Percy,
I don't think I have to tell you why Umbra is bringing you this letter. I think if anyone knows the truth, it's probably you.
Seriously, man. You should probably try to work on being more subtle, because even I couldn't shake knowing something bad was coming. I have no idea if it's you or someone else, but I'm pretty sure it's someone I trust. Guess I'll know by the time you see this, but it's not like I can tell you.Doesn't matter. I'm not holding it against you or anyone else. I have a couple of favors though, and because you were so weird and cagey, you need to follow through.
The first one is to go to the general store, make some Cup Noodles... and bring them to Milla. That probably sounds weird. But just do it and tell her it's from me, and that I'm sorry. Do this ASAP, because she needs it and none of us know what's going to happen next.
The second is to make sure everyone keeps their cool. I don't know how much you know anymore, and I don't know if the others have been thinking what I'm thinking. Whatever it is... don't let them panic. No revenge killing, it's not worth it.
Not gonna lie, I'm kind of annoyed you didn't tell me whatever it is you knew. I could handle it, I've been ready. But even though it's like this—you know you were my best friend here, right? You're kind of like a little bro, kind of not. You've been through hell, but I need to you keep carrying on. Whatever it takes, don't let it beat you, even if the worst solution is the last resort. You may not have a "role" officially, but you have a lot at your disposal, use it.
And...
The last time I saw my dad, he said something to me that I think you should hear too.
"Walk tall." Keep your head high, keep going. Don't let anything stop you, got it? Don't make me kick your ass if we meet again.
The last thing is that I'm glad I could call you a friend. Thanks for looking out for me, thanks for trusting me, and thanks for being someone I could trust in this mess too. I know everyone feels the same. Don't take it for granted.
--Noctis
[but that's not all! because there's a second envelope that umbra is foisting on him, though this one doesn't seem to be addressed to anyone in particular.]
Gladio, Ignis, Prompto,
I hope somehow, this gets to you. Prompto, I'm tasking you with reading this out loud. Take a minute to read it through, do your best impression of me, okay? I'm counting on you.
I don't think I can explain the hell of these last few weeks. But if Umbra gets to you and you read this, it's because I'm not coming back. Because I can't come back. I can't say if someone took my life or I willingly gave it up to help others. Whatever it is, I know... I'm letting you all down. Your country is without a king, because I failed what I needed to do in this crappy place. The details would make it worse, but just know it' bad, and I did my best to try and save others and get back there.
I don't know what will happen with the Crystal, or to Lucis. Keep going, though. Get to Gralea, get it back. Kick Ardyn's ass into another solar system if that's what it takes, because that bastard deserves it.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
Gladio: You were always right. When I couldn't suck it up... I was making it worse. I know why you were so mad, I get it. There were times here when I had to walk in your shoes, and it was hard. You're the best shield I could ever ask for, no matter how much shit you give me. Finish there, and when you get back to Lucis, get more of those flowers that Iris likes. Give them to her and tell her I'm sorry too. See if you can find the last of the Cactuar figurines to give to Talcott, too. I couldn't do anything for them as a king, but as a friend, they deserve it.
Ignis: I'm glad you didn't give up. Even when everyone wanted you to turn back, I'm glad you wanted to see it though. I don't even doubt that somehow, you'll get through it just fine. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't there, anyway. The four of us, that's how it's supposed to be. I guess it's just he three of you now. But man... do you know how much I've missed your cooking? The only person who should live on this much Cup Noodles is Gladio, and I don't know how he does it. The others are going to need you most. You're our voice of reason when things really go to crap, don't forget that. I know it'll be tough but you guys can make it without me, I know it.
Prompto: Nobody could replace you. Don't forget, I never just let you tag along—you're part of this group, even if you're "just a commoner." You're not common, you're one of us. Who else would take pictures of Gladio eating shit in a daemon knock-back, or sneak shots of every little thing? It's not mood-making, it's memory making. Keep taking pictures, even when I'm gone. Of the guys, of the world, of whatever you see. Just. You know, don't try to take any weird creeper shots of Cindy or something. Make sure you save all the ones you already took, too.
You guys...
You're the ones I miss the most. No matter how great some of the people I've met with have been, nothing can replace any of you. All these years and all these memories, I'm taking them with me. I cherish all of them, from when we were kids until the last moments I saw you. Sparring, playing video games and reading comics, seeing the world...
Think about the first time we saw Galdin, or got out of the Regalia in Lestallum, or our approach to Altissia. The good memories, not the bad ones. I've made peace with the fact that this is out of my hands, so don't despair. Keep fighting. You guys are the absolute best. Even if I'm not there, I'm with you.
I'm starting to sound like my dad, right? I've written so many letters lately, and all of them...
Well, I guess it's probably too late to start acting like a king.
But you know I have to say it, right?
Walk tall, my friends. I love you all.
Noct
Seriously, man. You should probably try to work on being more subtle, because even I couldn't shake knowing something bad was coming. I have no idea if it's you or someone else, but I'm pretty sure it's someone I trust. Guess I'll know by the time you see this, but it's not like I can tell you.Doesn't matter. I'm not holding it against you or anyone else. I have a couple of favors though, and because you were so weird and cagey, you need to follow through.
The first one is to go to the general store, make some Cup Noodles... and bring them to Milla. That probably sounds weird. But just do it and tell her it's from me, and that I'm sorry. Do this ASAP, because she needs it and none of us know what's going to happen next.
The second is to make sure everyone keeps their cool. I don't know how much you know anymore, and I don't know if the others have been thinking what I'm thinking. Whatever it is... don't let them panic. No revenge killing, it's not worth it.
Not gonna lie, I'm kind of annoyed you didn't tell me whatever it is you knew. I could handle it, I've been ready. But even though it's like this—you know you were my best friend here, right? You're kind of like a little bro, kind of not. You've been through hell, but I need to you keep carrying on. Whatever it takes, don't let it beat you, even if the worst solution is the last resort. You may not have a "role" officially, but you have a lot at your disposal, use it.
And...
The last time I saw my dad, he said something to me that I think you should hear too.
"Walk tall." Keep your head high, keep going. Don't let anything stop you, got it? Don't make me kick your ass if we meet again.
The last thing is that I'm glad I could call you a friend. Thanks for looking out for me, thanks for trusting me, and thanks for being someone I could trust in this mess too. I know everyone feels the same. Don't take it for granted.
--Noctis
[but that's not all! because there's a second envelope that umbra is foisting on him, though this one doesn't seem to be addressed to anyone in particular.]
Gladio, Ignis, Prompto,
I don't think I can explain the hell of these last few weeks. But if Umbra gets to you and you read this, it's because I'm not coming back. Because I can't come back. I can't say if someone took my life or I willingly gave it up to help others. Whatever it is, I know... I'm letting you all down. Your country is without a king, because I failed what I needed to do in this crappy place. The details would make it worse, but just know it' bad, and I did my best to try and save others and get back there.
I don't know what will happen with the Crystal, or to Lucis. Keep going, though. Get to Gralea, get it back. Kick Ardyn's ass into another solar system if that's what it takes, because that bastard deserves it.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
Gladio: You were always right. When I couldn't suck it up... I was making it worse. I know why you were so mad, I get it. There were times here when I had to walk in your shoes, and it was hard. You're the best shield I could ever ask for, no matter how much shit you give me. Finish there, and when you get back to Lucis, get more of those flowers that Iris likes. Give them to her and tell her I'm sorry too. See if you can find the last of the Cactuar figurines to give to Talcott, too. I couldn't do anything for them as a king, but as a friend, they deserve it.
Ignis: I'm glad you didn't give up. Even when everyone wanted you to turn back, I'm glad you wanted to see it though. I don't even doubt that somehow, you'll get through it just fine. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't there, anyway. The four of us, that's how it's supposed to be. I guess it's just he three of you now. But man... do you know how much I've missed your cooking? The only person who should live on this much Cup Noodles is Gladio, and I don't know how he does it. The others are going to need you most. You're our voice of reason when things really go to crap, don't forget that. I know it'll be tough but you guys can make it without me, I know it.
Prompto: Nobody could replace you. Don't forget, I never just let you tag along—you're part of this group, even if you're "just a commoner." You're not common, you're one of us. Who else would take pictures of Gladio eating shit in a daemon knock-back, or sneak shots of every little thing? It's not mood-making, it's memory making. Keep taking pictures, even when I'm gone. Of the guys, of the world, of whatever you see. Just. You know, don't try to take any weird creeper shots of Cindy or something. Make sure you save all the ones you already took, too.
You guys...
You're the ones I miss the most. No matter how great some of the people I've met with have been, nothing can replace any of you. All these years and all these memories, I'm taking them with me. I cherish all of them, from when we were kids until the last moments I saw you. Sparring, playing video games and reading comics, seeing the world...
Think about the first time we saw Galdin, or got out of the Regalia in Lestallum, or our approach to Altissia. The good memories, not the bad ones. I've made peace with the fact that this is out of my hands, so don't despair. Keep fighting. You guys are the absolute best. Even if I'm not there, I'm with you.
I'm starting to sound like my dad, right? I've written so many letters lately, and all of them...
Well, I guess it's probably too late to start acting like a king.
But you know I have to say it, right?
Walk tall, my friends. I love you all.
Noct
week 7; letter (milla)
Milla,
If Umbra is bringing you this, it means my death has come to pass. I'm sorry I couldn't make it... really, I am.
I don't think I need to tell you to keep your head up. I know that you'll keep moving forward to the end, and I know you'll do your best to keep the others afloat, too. If anything... I'm counting on you to be able to do this, more than anyone else who remains. If anyone can do that, I know it's you.
But like before, it's not all I can say. Thank you. For listening to what I had to say and letting me be bold that first time. I know it's not very much like me, but what can I say? I really meant it when I said you're the type of person who makes me want to do better. It would have been fleeting, because we both have our duties to return to, but... I don't have any regrets. And I hope you won't, either.
The memento you gave me, I was keeping it in my pocket. I hope you'll be able to get it back, because I don't want something so important to you to be lost because I didn't survive.
I have no idea if we'll meet again. Though... I hope we do. I'd like to see you one last time, and maybe do a few of those things we did before we'd really have to part ways. If we can't, then at least, I hope you won't forget me and what happened when it's all over. Even if the time we had together was short, I won't forget it. Fight hard, you have humans and spirits you need to get home to, in order to protect. I'll watch you from this side—and if you find who is responsible for my death, please make sure nobody goes after them for vengeance. I don't want that; not when I know it is probably someone near to us both.
Yours,
Noctis
[but that's not all! because there's a second envelope that umbra is foisting on her, though this one doesn't seem to be addressed to anyone in particular.]
Luna,
I know there's no way to get a letter like this to you, but I guess I hope that somehow you'll see it anyway. In this place, in this awful place... you're watching, right? I have a hard time believing these people ended up in the same place I did without any other reason. Because... you'd find a way, wouldn't you? To guide people to me that would ground me and keep my head on straight.
That would do what everyone back home would do, to make sure that I could fulfill my duty.
People like Percy, Jason and Shinnsouke—the kind of friends that will have your back no matter how much you bicker. People like Barnham, who guide others with a sense of justice and a duty to protect. People like Milla... who are strong and never stop, no matter what kind of obstacles they face.
They're the kind of people I like to be around. If it weren't for them, I'm not sure how I would have made it this long without losing my mind. They're... really great, Luna. I know nothing could be the same as back home, but I treasure all of them more than I thought I could in just a few weeks. And I guess if you're watching, you probably know what happened with Milla too. But, you're happy for me, right? That I could find someone else who made me want to live up to that title, and someone I wanted to see smile too. I felt bad for a while, but I just can't picture it making you mad, either. You'd have loved her, if you could have met her. I bet you'd have been great friends.
Not many people know what I want better than you. Twelve years will do that, even if we were apart for most of it. And I guess now that my time may be over, I'm...
Kind of sentimental. I'm sorry to you too. I know you never held it against me that I couldn't protect you, because you protected me to the end. I'm sorry that it seems to soon for me to turn to anyone else that way. And I'm sorry... if I failed here too, even with those guiding lights. I'm sorry that Umbra is going to have to keep carrying on without either of us, and without Pryna, too.
Will I see you again, Luna? I hope somehow, we can. I didn't get to Altissia fast enough but...
You know I still miss you too.
Wherever I go from here, please. Keep watching over me. That's all I can ask of you.
--Noctis
I don't think I need to tell you to keep your head up. I know that you'll keep moving forward to the end, and I know you'll do your best to keep the others afloat, too. If anything... I'm counting on you to be able to do this, more than anyone else who remains. If anyone can do that, I know it's you.
But like before, it's not all I can say. Thank you. For listening to what I had to say and letting me be bold that first time. I know it's not very much like me, but what can I say? I really meant it when I said you're the type of person who makes me want to do better. It would have been fleeting, because we both have our duties to return to, but... I don't have any regrets. And I hope you won't, either.
The memento you gave me, I was keeping it in my pocket. I hope you'll be able to get it back, because I don't want something so important to you to be lost because I didn't survive.
I have no idea if we'll meet again. Though... I hope we do. I'd like to see you one last time, and maybe do a few of those things we did before we'd really have to part ways. If we can't, then at least, I hope you won't forget me and what happened when it's all over. Even if the time we had together was short, I won't forget it. Fight hard, you have humans and spirits you need to get home to, in order to protect. I'll watch you from this side—and if you find who is responsible for my death, please make sure nobody goes after them for vengeance. I don't want that; not when I know it is probably someone near to us both.
Yours,
Noctis
[but that's not all! because there's a second envelope that umbra is foisting on her, though this one doesn't seem to be addressed to anyone in particular.]
Luna,
That would do what everyone back home would do, to make sure that I could fulfill my duty.
People like Percy, Jason and Shinnsouke—the kind of friends that will have your back no matter how much you bicker. People like Barnham, who guide others with a sense of justice and a duty to protect. People like Milla... who are strong and never stop, no matter what kind of obstacles they face.
They're the kind of people I like to be around. If it weren't for them, I'm not sure how I would have made it this long without losing my mind. They're... really great, Luna. I know nothing could be the same as back home, but I treasure all of them more than I thought I could in just a few weeks. And I guess if you're watching, you probably know what happened with Milla too. But, you're happy for me, right? That I could find someone else who made me want to live up to that title, and someone I wanted to see smile too. I felt bad for a while, but I just can't picture it making you mad, either. You'd have loved her, if you could have met her. I bet you'd have been great friends.
Not many people know what I want better than you. Twelve years will do that, even if we were apart for most of it. And I guess now that my time may be over, I'm...
Kind of sentimental. I'm sorry to you too. I know you never held it against me that I couldn't protect you, because you protected me to the end. I'm sorry that it seems to soon for me to turn to anyone else that way. And I'm sorry... if I failed here too, even with those guiding lights. I'm sorry that Umbra is going to have to keep carrying on without either of us, and without Pryna, too.
Will I see you again, Luna? I hope somehow, we can. I didn't get to Altissia fast enough but...
You know I still miss you too.
Wherever I go from here, please. Keep watching over me. That's all I can ask of you.
--Noctis
week 7; letter (jason)
Jason,
If Umbra is bringing you this, it means my death has come to pass. Sorry I couldn't keep going and see it through to the end.
I'm glad you were one of the ones working on our side, even without the role. Your help did a lot, even if in the end, we didn't actually solve things the way we wanted to. Didn't think I'd say this, but I'll miss your notes, even the annoying ones to read out loud. I know you might even still be pretty pissed at me for what me and Milla did at the trial... doesn't change much.
You're still one of the best allies I could have asked for in this game. But it's not over yet for you. Don't give up, and make sure to KEEP. YOUR. COOL.
Seriously, if you show up on the other side because you did something hot-headed and stupid, I'll actually punch you.
Keep your cool, and keep your head up. You guys can do this.
--Noctis
I'm glad you were one of the ones working on our side, even without the role. Your help did a lot, even if in the end, we didn't actually solve things the way we wanted to. Didn't think I'd say this, but I'll miss your notes, even the annoying ones to read out loud. I know you might even still be pretty pissed at me for what me and Milla did at the trial... doesn't change much.
You're still one of the best allies I could have asked for in this game. But it's not over yet for you. Don't give up, and make sure to KEEP. YOUR. COOL.
Seriously, if you show up on the other side because you did something hot-headed and stupid, I'll actually punch you.
Keep your cool, and keep your head up. You guys can do this.
--Noctis
week 7; letter (damian)
Damian,
If Umbra is bringing you this, it means my death has come to pass. Sorry. I did my best, but I guess it really wasn't enough.
We may have all been looking for the answers, but I still think there's a chance for a solution. Keep fighting for a peaceful end to things. It's just you and Milla now for the Bounty work, but I think if you keep putting your heads together with Percy and Jason, you'll be fine.
Don't let things get the better of you.
...And make sure they don't get the better of Jason, either. You're better at that than he is.
Either way—keep your head up.
--Noctis
We may have all been looking for the answers, but I still think there's a chance for a solution. Keep fighting for a peaceful end to things. It's just you and Milla now for the Bounty work, but I think if you keep putting your heads together with Percy and Jason, you'll be fine.
Don't let things get the better of you.
...And make sure they don't get the better of Jason, either. You're better at that than he is.
Either way—keep your head up.
--Noctis
week 7; letter (barnham)
Zach,
If Umbra is bringing you this, it means my death has come to pass. Sorry. I did my best, but... I guess I'll have to leave this one to you, after all.
Please don't let things get the better of you. Your strength and resolve—I admire it a lot. I know I compared you to Gladio once, and while that has to do with morality and knighthood... you're very much your own knight. You're capable and much more so than you give yourself credit for. I know my trust in you isn't misplaced, with everything I've shared. You're a good man. There's a reason people here trust and look up to you, so don't doubt that at all.
Thanks for trusting in me, too. Try not to shoulder all the burdens on your own, and I'm sorry that I'm not there to pick up the slack. Go for justice even now, not revenge. Don't become a monster like some of the others did, you're better than that. Just look out for the others. Tell Percy and Milla that I'm sorry, too. They're probably just as upset, so stand by them and make sure they don't fall.
And don't forget.
"Walk tall."
--Noct
[but that's not all! because there's a second envelope that umbra is foisting on him, this one without a label or address to anyone.]
Dad,
I know that there's no way for you to read this, but even still, I needed to write this letter to you.
I'm sorry.
It's not just as king that I let you down, with my inability to protect anyone. Not the victims in this down, not in Insomnia, not anywhere in Lucis. I couldn't live up to you, and I doubt that I've done even a single thing to make me worthy of that throne. For that, I'm really sorry. I wanted nothing more than to grow up to be the man you wanted me to be. To honor your wishes, marry Luna and bring peace to our world.
But I couldn't protect you. I couldn't protect Luna, either. I couldn't even protect Ignis from getting hurt.
I've failed a lot. I think I let you down as a son, too.
But just know this, Dad. I love you. I may not have said it much, and maybe if I'd known on the day I left Insomnia that I would never have seen you again, maybe I wouldn't have taken it for granted. I wasn't ready back then. Maybe I'm still not ready.
I don't know if I'll make it back to Lucis. But if I do... I'll be ready then. To walk tall, to reclaim that throne and return the crystal. If I can get there, I promise you that I won't let you down again. If I don't make it back, then I guess I'll see you soon.
With love, your son,
Noctis Lucis Caelum CXIV
Please don't let things get the better of you. Your strength and resolve—I admire it a lot. I know I compared you to Gladio once, and while that has to do with morality and knighthood... you're very much your own knight. You're capable and much more so than you give yourself credit for. I know my trust in you isn't misplaced, with everything I've shared. You're a good man. There's a reason people here trust and look up to you, so don't doubt that at all.
Thanks for trusting in me, too. Try not to shoulder all the burdens on your own, and I'm sorry that I'm not there to pick up the slack. Go for justice even now, not revenge. Don't become a monster like some of the others did, you're better than that. Just look out for the others. Tell Percy and Milla that I'm sorry, too. They're probably just as upset, so stand by them and make sure they don't fall.
And don't forget.
"Walk tall."
--Noct
[but that's not all! because there's a second envelope that umbra is foisting on him, this one without a label or address to anyone.]
Dad,
I'm sorry.
It's not just as king that I let you down, with my inability to protect anyone. Not the victims in this down, not in Insomnia, not anywhere in Lucis. I couldn't live up to you, and I doubt that I've done even a single thing to make me worthy of that throne. For that, I'm really sorry. I wanted nothing more than to grow up to be the man you wanted me to be. To honor your wishes, marry Luna and bring peace to our world.
But I couldn't protect you. I couldn't protect Luna, either. I couldn't even protect Ignis from getting hurt.
I've failed a lot. I think I let you down as a son, too.
But just know this, Dad. I love you. I may not have said it much, and maybe if I'd known on the day I left Insomnia that I would never have seen you again, maybe I wouldn't have taken it for granted. I wasn't ready back then. Maybe I'm still not ready.
I don't know if I'll make it back to Lucis. But if I do... I'll be ready then. To walk tall, to reclaim that throne and return the crystal. If I can get there, I promise you that I won't let you down again. If I don't make it back, then I guess I'll see you soon.
With love, your son,
Noctis Lucis Caelum CXIV
week 7; letter (ash)
Ash,
You can ignore this, or chalk this up to human sentiment if you want. I'd be surprised if you even read this the whole way through, but bear with me for one last time. If Umbra is bringing you this, it means my death has come to pass.
The first thing you should know, if Hal doesn't announce it, is that I was a Bounty. I'm really sorry for lying to you for so long. It was out of my hands and probably for your own good and mine that I didn't tell you. But even though I hid that from you, I need you to know that I never once hated you. You're an asshole, you hate my existence and my people, and you probably don't even care much that I'm dead, since you wanted to level this whole town anyway. Still... guess you did something right, because even now, I'd almost consider you an ally. That probably makes you wish you'd fired that pistol on the first night. Sorry.
Sorry too, that I can't keep my word. Guess it wasn't meant to be, because I took the secret about it to the grave.
And one last thing: If you find out who killed me, don't hold it against them. And if you killed me, then... what the hell took you so long? You had a ton of chances before this!
--Noctis
The first thing you should know, if Hal doesn't announce it, is that I was a Bounty. I'm really sorry for lying to you for so long. It was out of my hands and probably for your own good and mine that I didn't tell you. But even though I hid that from you, I need you to know that I never once hated you. You're an asshole, you hate my existence and my people, and you probably don't even care much that I'm dead, since you wanted to level this whole town anyway. Still... guess you did something right, because even now, I'd almost consider you an ally. That probably makes you wish you'd fired that pistol on the first night. Sorry.
Sorry too, that I can't keep my word. Guess it wasn't meant to be, because I took the secret about it to the grave.
And one last thing: If you find out who killed me, don't hold it against them. And if you killed me, then... what the hell took you so long? You had a ton of chances before this!
--Noctis
Entry tags:
week 7; R I P (letters to the living)
[to the people that noctis knew and cared about most, umbra will sniff them out before the morning is through on thursday. it seems like noct had, like some others, been a bit prepared for his death.
damian, barnham and jason's letters are dated for monday; milla and percy's for wednesday.
huh, wonder why that is.
either way, umbra will carry on his way, only showing up at percy's door at night at feeding times. he's a free magic pupper, you gotta let him roam.]
Ash
Barnham
Damian
Jason
Milla
Percy
damian, barnham and jason's letters are dated for monday; milla and percy's for wednesday.
huh, wonder why that is.
either way, umbra will carry on his way, only showing up at percy's door at night at feeding times. he's a free magic pupper, you gotta let him roam.]
Ash
Barnham
Damian
Jason
Milla
Percy
Entry tags:
week 7; confess
[it's that time again!
time for noct to avoid going back to his room and knock on milla's door... though he has a bit more of an agenda today. things he needs to do, people he needs to see.
the feeling of foreboding is too strong for him to ignore in every way.]
...Hey, it's me again.
time for noct to avoid going back to his room and knock on milla's door... though he has a bit more of an agenda today. things he needs to do, people he needs to see.
the feeling of foreboding is too strong for him to ignore in every way.]
...Hey, it's me again.
Entry tags:
week 6; exhaustion
[the end of the night comes, the meeting with who remains ends...
and noct really doesn't want to go back to his room just yet. he doesn't really want to deal with ash right now, and—well, he's still concerned about milla. even after seeing her in the meeting, the way she actually relied on him for help after jason hit her—it's hard to let that go. for someone who constantly keeps going, who had even said as much to him just a day earlier?
it's hard to ignore.
so it's her door he finds himself in front of again, knocking lightly.]
Hey, it's me. [he figures she'll know his voice easily enough, but he says it instead so she doesn't have to actually get up if she doesn't want to.]
and noct really doesn't want to go back to his room just yet. he doesn't really want to deal with ash right now, and—well, he's still concerned about milla. even after seeing her in the meeting, the way she actually relied on him for help after jason hit her—it's hard to let that go. for someone who constantly keeps going, who had even said as much to him just a day earlier?
it's hard to ignore.
so it's her door he finds himself in front of again, knocking lightly.]
Hey, it's me. [he figures she'll know his voice easily enough, but he says it instead so she doesn't have to actually get up if she doesn't want to.]
Entry tags:
week 6; letter (shinnosuke)
Shinnosuke,
You weren't supposed to make your stupid damn quip come true by actually DYING, you idiot.
All the chickens left, I'm naming them after you. Every single one.
Maybe the rest of the homestead animals too. You deserve it for that much.
I'd flick you between the eyes, but I can't from here. Show this to Sara, maybe she'll help us out a little. And write back to at least one of us. Drop better hints, you know how this is supposed to work better than most of them, at least.
--Noct
[spoilers, pal, he's actually real upset about this?? good job, jerk.]
All the chickens left, I'm naming them after you. Every single one.
Maybe the rest of the homestead animals too. You deserve it for that much.
I'd flick you between the eyes, but I can't from here. Show this to Sara, maybe she'll help us out a little. And write back to at least one of us. Drop better hints, you know how this is supposed to work better than most of them, at least.
--Noct
[spoilers, pal, he's actually real upset about this?? good job, jerk.]
Entry tags:
week 6; secrets
[there's really no bells or whistles to this one—noctis is completely shaken by the morning's events. all three deaths have gotten under his skin for different reasons—
and while there are people he knows he can go to that would probably commiserate in the same way, it's not the first place he goes. instead, it's to barnham's door he finds himself, knocking listlessly at it.]
and while there are people he knows he can go to that would probably commiserate in the same way, it's not the first place he goes. instead, it's to barnham's door he finds himself, knocking listlessly at it.]
Entry tags:
week 6; letter (riku)
Riku,
I don't know if these letter things work both ways. I had a couple of things to say to you, though. What you wrote last time—I read it. A lot of it didn't make it through the filter, though. It seemed important, and maybe now it's more important than before. If there's anything you knew and didn't tell me, or anything you weren't honest about, I need to know. It's for everyone's sake.
You have to be careful of what you say, though. He reads it all. I don't even know if what I'm saying will get to you completely, if it does at all. Everything between "look out for Xion" and "I'll be in touch," I couldn't see it at all.
About Xion, though. I'm sorry. I don't think I did a good job looking out for her. I don't think she really trusts me very much, either. I'll still try, but things have been bad, I don't really know how to help her.
Write back to this if you can.
--Noctis
You have to be careful of what you say, though. He reads it all. I don't even know if what I'm saying will get to you completely, if it does at all. Everything between "look out for Xion" and "I'll be in touch," I couldn't see it at all.
About Xion, though. I'm sorry. I don't think I did a good job looking out for her. I don't think she really trusts me very much, either. I'll still try, but things have been bad, I don't really know how to help her.
Write back to this if you can.
--Noctis
Entry tags:
week 6; letter (sara)
Sara,
No idea if this will get to you. But a bunch of us are trying anyway. I'm kinda bad at this, but just remember that because you're not here with us, it's not over.
We still need your help. However you can give that to us. I know you can't just say what you want but I think you can figure something out. A hint, a clue. Our jobs aren't over until we fix this mess, so you can't give up.
You can see stuff there. Keep an eye on Barnham too. I'll do what I can from here, but if he seems like he's going to do something bad or stupid, write back. I'll stop him.
--Noctis
We still need your help. However you can give that to us. I know you can't just say what you want but I think you can figure something out. A hint, a clue. Our jobs aren't over until we fix this mess, so you can't give up.
You can see stuff there. Keep an eye on Barnham too. I'll do what I can from here, but if he seems like he's going to do something bad or stupid, write back. I'll stop him.
--Noctis
Entry tags:
week 5; sword
[it's more than he can handle, honestly.
noct didn't really expect to hear that sara would leave her sword to him. it had seemed like such a joke when she'd offered to let him borrow her sword in an earlier week—an offer he politely refused.
and while the notion of having a weapon definitely makes him feel a bit more secure, everything else about this sucks.
he didn't stick around for felix or harry's executions. once sara was laid out, that's when noct took his leave, because he felt like he'd be sick if he had to see anymore bloodshed right after that. he doesn't even go that far away—closer to the hotel, outside the entrance and crouched near the ground.]
Get a hold of yourself. Walk tall. [he's muttering the words to himself quietly. convincing himself it'll be okay. he can't cry, he can't be that weak. he has to be strong, for everyone else—for people he knows need it more than he do, even as the sound of the other executions ring through the town and filter to his ears.
now. is. not. the. time.]
noct didn't really expect to hear that sara would leave her sword to him. it had seemed like such a joke when she'd offered to let him borrow her sword in an earlier week—an offer he politely refused.
and while the notion of having a weapon definitely makes him feel a bit more secure, everything else about this sucks.
he didn't stick around for felix or harry's executions. once sara was laid out, that's when noct took his leave, because he felt like he'd be sick if he had to see anymore bloodshed right after that. he doesn't even go that far away—closer to the hotel, outside the entrance and crouched near the ground.]
Get a hold of yourself. Walk tall. [he's muttering the words to himself quietly. convincing himself it'll be okay. he can't cry, he can't be that weak. he has to be strong, for everyone else—for people he knows need it more than he do, even as the sound of the other executions ring through the town and filter to his ears.
now. is. not. the. time.]
Entry tags:
week 5; bounty mourning
[in all honestly, noctis isn't sure why he finds himself in front of milla's door.
maybe it's because he knows there's nobody else. sara is in a jail cell, and they've already spoken—but part of his struggles come because of that face. barnham is a mess, because sara of all people was the one to kill russell. and percy is likely reeling too from discovering who annabeth's killer is.
but milla is—honestly one of the smartest, stable and most reliable people he knows. and with their newfound alliance thanks to their bounty roles, she's... someone better to confide in. someone who'll know better than most how hard losing sara is not just because of personal feelings, but because of the importance of her role in the game. what now? where will they go from there? he's... really not entirely sure.
it's tired, he's definitely shed more tears than he cares to admit, and there's a verge of being slightly unhinged that sits in his chest, threatening to find a way to the surface. he needs something, anything.
so it's milla's door he's knocking on, somewhat listlessly. just for a little while, he needs the company of someone a little stronger than him, because he can't help barnham if he doesn't pick himself up a little too.]
maybe it's because he knows there's nobody else. sara is in a jail cell, and they've already spoken—but part of his struggles come because of that face. barnham is a mess, because sara of all people was the one to kill russell. and percy is likely reeling too from discovering who annabeth's killer is.
but milla is—honestly one of the smartest, stable and most reliable people he knows. and with their newfound alliance thanks to their bounty roles, she's... someone better to confide in. someone who'll know better than most how hard losing sara is not just because of personal feelings, but because of the importance of her role in the game. what now? where will they go from there? he's... really not entirely sure.
it's tired, he's definitely shed more tears than he cares to admit, and there's a verge of being slightly unhinged that sits in his chest, threatening to find a way to the surface. he needs something, anything.
so it's milla's door he's knocking on, somewhat listlessly. just for a little while, he needs the company of someone a little stronger than him, because he can't help barnham if he doesn't pick himself up a little too.]
Entry tags:
week 5; i don't even know what to title this
[really, all that needs to be said is that when noct finally returns to the room—quite a bit later than usual—he's also slamming the door behind him with enough frustrated gusto.
hi, roomie?
no, this is probably bad for everyone because it's clear that he is completely out of sorts. which is probably like, some sort of stupid, weird turn-on for ash, but noctis doesn't really have many fucks to give at the moment.
he needs to find a way to end this stupid, fucked up game and if he has to try and drag out whatever ash knows to get there? he's gonna do it. that's how he feels right now.]
hi, roomie?
no, this is probably bad for everyone because it's clear that he is completely out of sorts. which is probably like, some sort of stupid, weird turn-on for ash, but noctis doesn't really have many fucks to give at the moment.
he needs to find a way to end this stupid, fucked up game and if he has to try and drag out whatever ash knows to get there? he's gonna do it. that's how he feels right now.]
Entry tags:
week 5; he hates this the most
[he upset.
he's the most upset he's been in the entire time since they showed up in this hellhole—and even though he's furious with her, furious with the sheriff, and furious about everything...
he's sad, too. he's sad, because this is incredibly senseless in every way. sara didn't deserve any of this. not being a bandit, not being threatened, not having to kill anyone and not sending herself to death by breaking the rules. it should've been him, instead, he thinks.
she's so much more important right now. in every way, sara's place in this game is so much more than his own, and he would have laid his life down for it because he knows the stakes are that high. of course, it's too late for that, and he knows now more than ever he has to keep living—because living and being able to help the rest of the game is the only way to save her, too.
so when he finally shuffles to her jail cell—it's pretty late. he waits until he knows it's quiet, when nobody is going to interrupt and when he's cooled his head at least a little.
(though not very much, and it's obvious he's been crying at least a bit.)
but he'll just plop on the ground in front of her cell, and unlike at the trial, he's looking her right in the eyes. he has things to say, things to ask, but all he starts with is:]
I wish I'd known sooner.
he's the most upset he's been in the entire time since they showed up in this hellhole—and even though he's furious with her, furious with the sheriff, and furious about everything...
he's sad, too. he's sad, because this is incredibly senseless in every way. sara didn't deserve any of this. not being a bandit, not being threatened, not having to kill anyone and not sending herself to death by breaking the rules. it should've been him, instead, he thinks.
she's so much more important right now. in every way, sara's place in this game is so much more than his own, and he would have laid his life down for it because he knows the stakes are that high. of course, it's too late for that, and he knows now more than ever he has to keep living—because living and being able to help the rest of the game is the only way to save her, too.
so when he finally shuffles to her jail cell—it's pretty late. he waits until he knows it's quiet, when nobody is going to interrupt and when he's cooled his head at least a little.
(though not very much, and it's obvious he's been crying at least a bit.)
but he'll just plop on the ground in front of her cell, and unlike at the trial, he's looking her right in the eyes. he has things to say, things to ask, but all he starts with is:]
I wish I'd known sooner.
Entry tags:
week 5; drowning our problems in liquor
[the walk is heavy, weighted with the morning's tragedies.
it's getting to all of them; he knows that. barnham looking two roommates in a row, and finding their bodies. noct trying to lay low and get through this alive while helping everyone else as much as possible. not that it's working, not when people he cares about keep getting hurt physically and emotionally.
he's felt all this pain before. he's felt it so much that his chest aches watching other people suffer through it. he wanted to prevent this. this is exactly what he's been trying so hard to find a way to stop this. to stop more deaths, to stop more people from suffering losses of their friends, their families, and whatever else may be in-between. it isn't fair.
life isn't fair, and he knows that but this is especially unfair in ways that he just can't comprehend.
but right now, for barnham's sake. he's trying to keep it together. he's trying to keep a hold on his emotions, but as it had once before in his life, it ends up being him holding those feelings in his chest. it's him trying to shove it down because he doesn't have a choice. he has to keep going, people need his help, even though he doesn't know if he can help them at all. he doesn't even feel like he can't help barnham, which is why the silence feels so heavy.]
So, um... [it's like before, and he knows that barnham doesn't want anything resembling his pity. even as they open the door to the saloon and head inside, all he can do is admit, weakly and with the most hollow undertone of a laugh.] Guess it's a little early for happy hour.
it's getting to all of them; he knows that. barnham looking two roommates in a row, and finding their bodies. noct trying to lay low and get through this alive while helping everyone else as much as possible. not that it's working, not when people he cares about keep getting hurt physically and emotionally.
he's felt all this pain before. he's felt it so much that his chest aches watching other people suffer through it. he wanted to prevent this. this is exactly what he's been trying so hard to find a way to stop this. to stop more deaths, to stop more people from suffering losses of their friends, their families, and whatever else may be in-between. it isn't fair.
life isn't fair, and he knows that but this is especially unfair in ways that he just can't comprehend.
but right now, for barnham's sake. he's trying to keep it together. he's trying to keep a hold on his emotions, but as it had once before in his life, it ends up being him holding those feelings in his chest. it's him trying to shove it down because he doesn't have a choice. he has to keep going, people need his help, even though he doesn't know if he can help them at all. he doesn't even feel like he can't help barnham, which is why the silence feels so heavy.]
So, um... [it's like before, and he knows that barnham doesn't want anything resembling his pity. even as they open the door to the saloon and head inside, all he can do is admit, weakly and with the most hollow undertone of a laugh.] Guess it's a little early for happy hour.
Entry tags:
week 5; bounty bonding
[everything is awful.
there's no doubt that everything is hitting critical point of the worst now that they've gotten a body count. it's not even each passing week that's awful, it's each passing day. but with how the day started and where it went so quickly? it's bad.
noct spent the morning helping shinnosuke out—in part because he knows they have to get along and work together... and in part because of that inherent need to do better looking out for someone who unfairly lost their vision. really, he knows that it isn't really something he should be doing—it's a bit of guilt projection that he can't really help; he did a bad job of looking out for ignis while mourning his own losses and left it to his other friends—now he needs to do better. for his sake, for shinnosuke's, and for everyone else's. but he'll keep it to himself, that part at least.
instead, what shinnosuke will get is something a little more reined in; he's got his hands full with his offering—a cup noodles in each hand, lid sealed with the water already inside to soften the noodles on his way upstairs. but with no hands free, noct taps at the door with his foot.]
Hey, Shinnosuke. Open up.
there's no doubt that everything is hitting critical point of the worst now that they've gotten a body count. it's not even each passing week that's awful, it's each passing day. but with how the day started and where it went so quickly? it's bad.
noct spent the morning helping shinnosuke out—in part because he knows they have to get along and work together... and in part because of that inherent need to do better looking out for someone who unfairly lost their vision. really, he knows that it isn't really something he should be doing—it's a bit of guilt projection that he can't really help; he did a bad job of looking out for ignis while mourning his own losses and left it to his other friends—now he needs to do better. for his sake, for shinnosuke's, and for everyone else's. but he'll keep it to himself, that part at least.
instead, what shinnosuke will get is something a little more reined in; he's got his hands full with his offering—a cup noodles in each hand, lid sealed with the water already inside to soften the noodles on his way upstairs. but with no hands free, noct taps at the door with his foot.]
Hey, Shinnosuke. Open up.